bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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