my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize