The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
