Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
