Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
