super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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