i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
