I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
