I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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