as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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