Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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