so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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