Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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