Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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