Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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