i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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