ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
