Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
