i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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