I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize