Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
