I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize