Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
