I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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