i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
