first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
