yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
