if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
