if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
