Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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