i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
