I smell stomach acid.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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