Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize