I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
