Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
