lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
