He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
