big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize