You just made me feel so damn special
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize