Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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