We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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