just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
