then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
