She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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