Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
