You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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