There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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