So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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