the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
