Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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