No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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