The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
