Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
