You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
