Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
