just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
