I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
