I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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