I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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