She's JV to your varsity
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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